I'm approaching the finish line on what I hope will be a beautiful tree for the Providence Saint Peter Foundation Christmas Forest. When I finish the ornaments I will have made by hand 302 ornaments for this tree. I'm tired. I think I've hit a small mental wall and the dreaded why-did-I-do-this-to-myself? Will anyone like the tree? Will they get my green concept? Does it matter? Will someone buy it? Did I do it right?
My friend Faye called it Sally Field Syndrome and says she gets it everytime she does a tree, which is every year. "You like me, you really like me"….etc. I think when you put your entire heart into something its easy to get it broken, which is why being an artist/craftsperson is such an explosive thing to do. If you are serious about this art making thing, you intend to put the work of your heart and hands out into world for people to love, hate, ignore, tolerate and every human emotion in between.
No two people are alike and consensus on opinion is not alike either. I loathe that guy who is "the painter of light", what the heck is his name anyway? His stuff looks to me like art-by-the-yard for over-accessorized pseudo Victorian homes and it makes my skin crawl. He's rich, so a lot of people buy and love his stuff, that's life in the 'art world'. If you want to play in that playpen you need the soul of an opera singer and the hide of a rhino along with talent and the years of work to hone it. I do pretty well in all but the getting rich part, but I have my share of dents and cracks acquired over the years.
I think I'm just scared of the whole tree installatoin process too, there's a lot of fear in the unknown. I have never done this before and I want to get it right.Some big name designers and peeps who have done this for years are in the mix and I'm sure their trees will be amazing. Its not a competition per se, but there is implied competition as in, no one wants to be the designer of the tree that goes for the smallest amount when it gets auctioned. And then again, no one has ever done anything that is green/renewable/recycled so this will be an alien concept. Does anyone actually want to learn this lesson at Christmas? I just don't know.
I haven't seen the venue or the blank, lit artificial tree or where it sits in the room. I know its against a wall so everything on the back won't be visible, but as Faye pointed out, after its delivered it could well be sitting in the middle of a room and be viewable from all sides. After the auction we have to go "fluff and buff", a big bag is drawn up over the tree and its mandhandled into a truck for delivery to its new owner. This means every fragment on that tree has to be wired down like it was going into a wind tunnel for testing. I'm guessing the glitter will be an interesting thing to contend with when it gets bagged. All I can do is make sure they handle it gently. I'm hoping I get to go along and tidy it up when it gets to its new home. We're back to that again–will someone buy my poor little tree? Sally Field where are you when I need you?