Oct 4, 2006 If its Sunday, we must be in Pakistan
Today at the rehab center, my sons and their wives all came to visit Terry and spend some time with us. We couldn’t help but laugh when someone asked him if he knew where he was, his answer was Pakistan. At this point if we didn’t laugh we would cry, so black humor is my friend.
I am trying to start a new job, end my old job, and be in the hospital and at home too. It’s not working so well to try to be in two places at once. The next couple of weeks are really critical to our future and I’m downright scared at this point.
Terry can’t be left alone for a minute and there is not enough nursing staff to stay with him nonstop. I have drafted friends and family to help watch him. Thank God for friends, Darrell and Brien are lifesavers, they come in at night to sleep in a lumpy bed with one eye open to make sure he doesn’t wander or pee on his bed-again-or eat a pillow or escape, the list of things that could happen is endless and scary. Tor struggles on manfully at home, trying to take up the slack. My heart breaks to see him growing up so fast and hard, but I’m so proud of him and I couldn’t do this without him.
Terry has no real idea that what he sees, thinks and does is not reality. He can see a laundry hamper and be absolutely sure it’s the toilet. He understands he is hurt but he thinks that he is a prisoner. This is all so strange, but he continues to heal so I have hope that I’m hanging on to like someone going down on the Titanic.
Terry is slated to come home the 15th and he can’t come home until the renovations for his new handicapped state are done. There is just so much to do to get the house ready for him. The generosity of the people Terry works with is overwhelming, the City of Lacey and the builders and contractors have reduced me to tears several times. How do I express how I feel for these people who have stepped up to help? They have taken it on themselves to do the renovations we need to keep him safe. I am just stunned and grateful and amazed. Thank you doesn’t even start to tell them what is in my heart and it feels so inadequate saying it again and again. All of this work is going on starting now and what I need most is help at the hospital watching Terry so I can be at the house doing the prep work.
The therapists and doctor met with us today and basically Terry has to go back to the beginning and start over. No one knows yet how far he will get–he does a lot of things that are automatic and “old programming”, but remembering to chew his food and get another spoonful are problematic. He gets tired very quickly and you can see him tune out. He doesn’t have any sort of attention span and he is in a lot of pain from is back. The funny, wise Terry is still in there somewhere but it is like he is two people now and its very odd.
After only 21 days he is doing phenomenally and I work to stay positive and focused and help him recover the miles he lost by heartbreaking inches.